When a public figure dies suddenly, it can be hard to understand. There may be lots of different information in the media, some of which can be confusing or sometimes even inaccurate. Or information may be updated and change quite quickly. It can feel like you can’t get away from the news, with everyone talking about it.
This might bring up memories for children and young people about what it was like for them when someone important to them died. Some of the things being talked about in the media may be similar to their own experiences. It’s important to try and talk with your children about what has happened, being as factual as you’re able to be.
We know that news like the death of a young pop star, for example, can trigger memories and emotions that can be hard to face. Here are some tips that can help you to support your child.
Following the death of anyone, children can become worried that the same is going to happen to other important people in their lives. It can be helpful to reassure children, where possible that this isn’t about to happen. It is important, however, not to make impossible promises.
We have guidance sheets on our website here, which share things to be considerate of in this situation. Use clear and concise language. Avoid using words or phrases like ‘loss’ or ‘gone away’. Although it can feel a bit clinical, using factual words like ‘death’ and ‘died’ can be a lot clearer and easier to understand for children.
Children may have lots of questions about what has happened. Whilst a lot of questions might happen immediately, sometimes it can be a while after the event that more questions are asked. This is the same when anyone important to your child dies. Everyone has their own ways of dealing with death, and we all work on different time frames when we process news which is hard to understand. Children particularly can react to grief quite differently to adults, and might show outward signs of grief one minute and the next they are playing happily with a sibling again.
Children look to their parents, carers, teachers to help them understand what has happened. They need support to understand why they are feeling how they do. It’s important to share with children and young people that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, upset about the death of someone significant, and that it can be helpful to talk with an adult about how they’re feeling. It is equally helpful for children and young people to be told that everyone grieves in their own way, and that there’s no right or wrong about how they feel.
If you would like to talk with one of the team here at Guy’s Gift to find out how we can offer support for grieving children and young people, please get in touch by calling 0845 467 3035 or email info@guysgift.co.uk
